My beautiful daughter.....a true blessing and gift from above!

Seriously, the Lord has blessed my life with two of the most precious children. Each one of them is so special to me in their own way. I wanted to take a little time to tell you about my sweet Emma~loo. Not only is she beautiful, she is precious. She truly lights up my world and blesses my heart. She has her daddy wrapped and I must say, she's got a hold of me too!! She is funny, witty, a little sassy(LOL) and just an all around good child. She has a little more personality than Tyler did at this age. She LOVES her TyTy. He is her best friend, her buddy!! Tyler loves her just the same. I just can't imagine my life without my children. I thank the Lord for them everyday, for their health and protection from this wicked world. As soon as I get new pics of Tyler, I will post some. He is at that age where he could really care less about pictures. This is only 4 of the 60 pictures I took of Emma today. Every single one of them turned out beautifully and it only took us about 15 minutes. She is a natural. Thank you Lord for your mercies.....your grace.....your forgiveness and the MULTITUDE of blessings you send to me everyday! I am BLESSED!!

Today the weather outside is GORGEOUS!!! I can not believe how beautiful it is!! So, I've been away for a while, not that it much matter, not sure many, if any, people read my blog...LOL!! I need to do a better job of keeping up with it, but I fall short for sure on the updating thing.

It has been a sad couple of weeks around here. Still hard to believe that our sweet" Great" is not with us any more. I am a better person for knowing her!! She is a true inspiration to me and to all that loved and knew her!

I have got to get on track and lose some weight. The last year for us has been difficult and my body has paid the price. I guess that is what stress will do to you!! I have gained about 15 lbs in 9 months...OUCH....I know!!! I can so tell too.....in my clothes, in my attitude and other areas in my life. I need encouragement and prayer.

I am also SO READY for school to be OUT!!!! I would give anything to be able to send Tyler off to a GOOD, CHRISTIAN school. Not because I don't want to teach him, but because I feel I am failing him as a teacher, and a mom. This year has been so hard and demanding on me and I feel so much pressure......I feel like I am about to explode! Tyler has done great, it's been me!! Poor little guy!! He's a trooper and I love him so much.

Speaking of school, I was going to get started with little miss priss this year and haven't done near what I had wanted too.

UGH!!! I really could use the prayer. I want to be a better EVERYTHING!!! You name it, I am probably failing at it and I want to do better. My husband and my kids and my SAVIOR deserve more from me!!

Well, I know this blog was a little whiney and pity party 'ish.......but I really do need some prayer. I feel at times as though I feel like I am caving in with one arm stretched out for help.

Heartbroken

Sometimes when there is nothing left to say, when the tears have been flowing all day....all you can do it sit down and write. Today is my birthday and it has been one of the saddest days of my life. The highlight of my birthday is when the phone rings first thing in the morning and the first person's voice I hear is that of Brad's grandmother, Charlotte. Well, today, I didn't get that phone call. We received a devastating phone call instead. Charlotte and Jack were at their condo in Panama City and she got up this morning with a headache and then got sick. She collapsed and went unconscious. Needless to say from this morning until now, she is on life support. She had a brain embolism. They did surgery to drill a hole in her head to relieve the bleeding, but the Dr.s aren't hopeful. There is no brain activity. We are heartbroken and devastated. We are wanting to be there right now, but are trying to wait to see what the rest of the day holds. We are so close with her and she and Tyler have such a special bond. I just can't stop thinking about her and already missing her tremendously. Please pray for her, our family as we embark on these next few days. We can't know the future, but we know who holds the future. Thank you Lord for Charlotte and all that she means to me and so many other people.

Snow Day

We have had so much fun today! Yesterday as the snow began to fall, I just couldn't wrap my mind around that fact that each and every delicate snowflake is different and unique! Can't comprehend how many snowflakes have to fall to build up several inches. Our God is so amazing. He shows us His glory in so many miraculous ways. Today, the kids have had such a blast. They are back outside playing as I type. To hear them laugh and giggle is the best sound. Brad tried to go to work this morning and didn't make it up the hill, but has since given it another try and he made it! Here are a few pics for you to enjoy!

CONTENT

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. philipians 4:11

Everyday I am humbled by what the Lord is teaching me. I think I am an easy going, patient, kind person....but then when I really take a good look at myself, I can be up-tight, easily aggravated and mean.

I had a "moment" yesterday of these unattractive personality flaws and I am ashamed.

Yesterday, on Brad's day off we spent the day together just enjoying being a family. Went to the mall, had lunch together. Tyler and Brad worked on batting, throwing and catching for Tyler's baseball tryouts. And then, there it was, a GORGEOUS house for rent. I mean......my dream house!!! I begged Brad to stop by and go look at it and he complied. We didn't go in, but we could see in almost all of the windows, and the porhes...and the pool. I mean this was one beautiful home.

I had all of these thoughts about where I could put things and how I could decorate.....KNOWING GOOD AND WELL WE COULD NEVER AFFORD A HOUSE LIKE THIS. That's when I heard my husband say, "I should've put my foot down and said NO, we are not going to look at it." "I should've known better." This is when I began to tear up and the ugly came out. I immediately became depressed and started to have a pity party. It lasted a couple of hours and let me tell you, I physically felt terrible. I thought I was going to be sick.

I then had to walk into the garage, down the steps and into the place that I live.......someone else's basement. You talking about a slap in the face.

My husband didn't fuss, didn't get aggravated, he only said." I am sorry, I have failed as a provider, and I live with this everyday."

Brad left with Tyler to go to baseball and I felt so ashamed. Here my husband who had been through so much this last year. And the blessings we had received and I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I have healthy children, a husband who loves me and serves the Lord. I decided right then and there to change my attitude. It was amazing how much better I felt and by the time Brad got home, I was "CONTENT". I apologized to him, but couldn't take away from the feeling of failure. He still feels like he has let me down.

We as woman have to be so careful what we say and how we say things to our husbands. They need us to uplift them and encourage them. They have enough on their shoulders to bear without having a contentious wife at home.

Thank you Lord for showing me your love and your scripture. I still want a house of my own, but I am content with what God has provided us with. I am thankful!!

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. philipians 4:11

I should have been Crucified......

Here are the word to a song that I sing in a ladies' ensemble. Just read the words!! He took MY PLACE.......

I was guilty with nothing to, as they were coming to take me away. But then a voice from Heaven was heard that said, "Let him go, take me instead."

I should have been crucified, I should have suffered and died, I should have hung on the cross in disgrace, but Jesus, God's son took my place.

A crown of thorns, a spear deep in His side and the pain should have been mine. The rusty nails were meant for me, yet Christ took them and let me go free.

I should have been crucified, I should have suffered and died. I should have hung on the cross in disgrace, but Jesus, God's son took my place!

When I survey the Wondrous Cross

I am guilty!!!! I am so guilty of singing these beautiful hymns without paying much attention to the words. We get in this habit of singing with our head from memory and not with our heart! My brother Scott reminded me today of what an AMAZING song this is. " When I Survey the Wondrous Cross" We need to regain an appreciation for these well written songs and truly think upon the words of the song. Oh, how we forget that God sent His ONLY son to DIE on the cross for OUR sins. Jesus is just not a baby that lay in a manger at Christmas time....He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. The Prince of Peace, Our Father, My Savior!! He was, He is and He is to come. WOW......just read the words to this song. If your heart doesn't become stirred after reading, then......Hmmmm? Thanks Scott for the reminder!! Love ya!

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

His dying crimson, like a robe,
Spreads o’er His body on the tree;
Then I am dead to all the globe,
And all the globe is dead to me.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

To Christ, who won for sinners grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore,
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore.