Here are some helpful thoughts regarding letting my kids handle life's lumps, whether deserved or not.
1. Teach your kids that when you mess up and it's your fault, "take your lumps."
Don't whine about it. You deserve it. Take it.
2. Teach your kids that sometimes you "take your lumps" because life is difficult.
It's no fun, but you aren't Job. Get over it. It's just God's way of allowing life to toughen you up. You can't control who your parents are, where you go to school, your looks, etc.
3. Teach your kids that sometimes you "take your lumps" because you are mistreated.
This is the hardest one to deal with, but Jesus understands your pain. He dealt with the same thing.
4. As a parent, I don't have to make sure that everything that happens to or for or concerning my kids is fair.
5. Realize that not everything is about your kids.
6. I was treated unfairly at times and survived (with very few ticks and glitches:).
7. I was treated unfairly and accepted both the pain and the mistreatment as part of life.
8. I am allowed to let my kids be treated unfairly and not do anything about it.
9. I do not have to let it fester or get bitter.
10. If I handle the situation without bitterness, then almost always, so will my children.
11. If I overreact as a parent, it will usually end up as a bigger problem than the original problem.
12. If my kids feel like the world is against them, it is my fault through either my bad example, or lack of training them.
13. If I feel like I've been an underdog all of my life, then my kids probably will too.
In other words, before I can show them how to handle it, I must deal with my own issues first.
14. When my kids are mistreated I have the opportunity teach them several lessons:
a. Maybe the other person misunderstood the situation.
b. Maybe you misunderstood the situation.
c. Maybe the other person is in the wrong. (We didn't expect perfection, did we?)
d. The other person can handle something wrongly and still be a great person.
e. The other person can handle something wrongly and that doesn't mean they're out to get you.
f. The other person can handle something and you perceive it wrongly and it had absolutely nothing to do with you.
g. Only shallow people think that how the other person treats us is the measuring stick to determine whether they are a great or horrible person.
15. If I run to the aid of my kid, I'm teaching them to depend on me, when the very purpose of my training them is to make them incrementally less and less dependent on me.